Tuesday, April 16, 2013

"Our house is a very very very fine house, with two cats in the yard, life used to be so hard, now everything is easy 'cause of you."  David's and my life together has been bookended by Loggins and Messina songs.  I used to sit every morning with my coffee, in the sun, on the front porch, and watch our lovely created world come to life.  And hum this song to myself.  Life held so much joy and promise, shared goals and dreams.  I sat this morning doing the same thing and sinking a bit into sadness, remembering.  I hate that Target has taken our song to use for a TV commercial. 

Then a million little things went wrong today.  And I couldn't stop crying.  I just seemed to leak tears all day.  I went to the wrong place at the wrong time, I missed a class, I drove in circles trying to decide if I should go home or go to a coffee shop and gather myself together.  The computer quit working.  But I went to the coffee shop and felt the peace of that lovely place settle around me.  Then Peggy worried me to death about meeting with some women friends for dinner.  And I told her she made me angry and I went and had a lovely time.  I don't know what I would do without Peggy worrying me into doing all the things I need to do and don't want to. 

We gathered and caught up over dinner, sharing stories about relationships and work and children.  And as I drove home I was reminded of a story I have heard and I have no idea of the source, but it goes something like this:  If everyone put all of their troubles in a pile and we could choose any one of the troubles in that pile, we would probably take our own back.  As hard as this has been, I'll take it over the troubles of the others.  Not that their's were worse or easier or harder, somehow just sharing them made me more grateful for mine.  I'll take my path, this path, over any other.  It's mine and it fits me and I'll continue to travel it, believing that I am where I am supposed to be, becoming who I am supposed to be. 

There is another quote that I love:  Be kind.  Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. 

Today I am grateful for the love I've known, the little moments of peace in this day, and the sharing of stories.  We heal each other when we share our stories. 

Our house, is indeed, a very very very fine house. 

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