Moving to Australia solves nothing. sigh.
It was one of Jesse's and my favorite books, "Alexander and The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" Everything goes wrong and he is going to move to Australia, but of course, there are bad days even in Australia. And so it goes at the beach as well.
Today was hard, hard, hard. I finished the stupid novel. And spent a great deal of the day in tears. The worst part is that I couldn't even figure out why. Usually I can identify some emotion or trigger when I fall apart like this. Today I just couldn't stop crying.
Where ever you go, there you are. Even at the beach. Maybe I shouldn't go on vacation alone. I miss belonging with someone.
And you know, I really thought he wouldn't just leave me here. I thought in my heart of hearts that I would have a dream or a vision or something, where he came and said goodbye or told me he loved me or something. But he just left. It feels so abrupt. I could've used a little more slide. But then again, maybe not. That's probably hard too.
There just isn't any easy.
And Alexander is right, even in Australia there are terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. Doesn't mean I have to like it.