Tuesday, April 9, 2013

I never read the stupid novel.

 I just sat and watched the waves, mostly.  For several hours.  And I watched the people, all the young families and couples.  I noticed that almost noone touches.  All day I only saw three couples touching, two of the couples were over 65 and one was probably in their 50's.  While I was eating breakfast I watched as a couple came in to the returant.  They looked to be in their 70's and had that air of having been together for a very long time.  I wanted to go over to them and tell them how lucky they are.  To have had so much time.  And that they should smile more and touch each other, enjoy the gift they have.  And you know, if it's not a gift, if you cannot look across to that person every day and thank God for the gift of their presence in your life, then do something about it.  Make it possible to do so or get out.  I felt kind of preachy today. 

I also felt a layer of stress sinking into the sand, a layer I didn't even know was there.  And I let go of some more of those fine fine strands that tie me to David.  It is pure agony and one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I feel like I do it as much for him as for me.  It's as if it frees him almost more than it does me. He has a different path now, while I continue on this one.  I hate that, but it doesn't do any good to fight it. 

A lovely day in one of my most favorite places, mixed with sadness, loss, and hard emotional work.  Standard fare these days. 


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