Saturday, June 1, 2013

I'm okay.  I am starting the process of selling David's wood and shop tools.  With a lot of help from a dear friend.  It's time to sell the wood.  I feel ready for that.  And I'm getting there with the shop.  It's an odd thing, knowing when you are ready.  I have learned to just wait and then one day I know.  Sometimes I have to try something and see how it feels.  But when I pay attention, I know. 

A month ago I could not have thought about selling the shop stuff.  Then I found I was ready to gather info..  Now I can think about selling.  I put his clothes in bags that sat in the bedroom for awhile.  Then it was okay to take them to Goodwill.  At first I couldn't take off my ring, then it felt right to move it to the other hand, now I am thinking about making a new piece of jewelry from both of our rings.  To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven.

Paying attention, taking one step and then seeing how it feels.  And trusting what I know, what feels true. 

I am very aware that this is excellent advice for life in general.  It's hard to do in "real life."  I think the difference is that I give myself permission when it comes to the grief process.  How much more honest, easy, true life would be if I always gave myself permission to act from my heart.  To wait and see how a step feels.  Why do we feel the need to rush through our lives?  To know, act, do...right now!  To think about things logically but not honor what our heart, our soul tells us too?  I would like to take these lessons to heart.  To use some of what I learn in this process for the rest of my life. 

There is no rush.  Our heart is as important as our mind.  We know, if we honor that part of ourselves that knows.  Be kind, to yourself and others.  Be gentle with yourself.  There is no rush.  That one is important. 

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