Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Staying Open to Wonder

This was in my inbox today:

Wonder makes everything porous
Allowing in
and out
all available light.

- Carrie Newcomer

I once took part in a group based on the teachings of Parker Palmer and one of the leaders spoke often about staying open to wonder.  Instead of criticism, anger, fear, etc we were encouraged to be in wonder.  To wonder where a feeling was coming from, to wonder what would happen if...., to simply wonder instead of judge. 

I had sort of forgotten that whole idea and then Carrie sent out this post.  She does a lot of work with Parker, probably why I love them both so much.  I had a terrible morning today and kind of let myself wallow in it.  I noticed how sad I was feeling in the house, never mind all the overwhelm that I often feel.  Ick.  Sick and tired of it all, I went out to run errands and for whatever reason felt okay again when I got home.  I am learning that there is no rhyme or reason to these feelings, nothing I can do to change them really.  Sometimes going to work or to a yoga class changes things, but not always. 

So, I got home and was reminded of Wonder.  I wonder what will come from all of this?  I wonder if I am growing stronger?  I wonder how much more open to life and love I am now?  I wonder where I will be at this time next year?  I wonder if pain is simply a part of life, to be experienced not avoided?  I wonder what happens when I simply let it be?  I wonder....and as I wondered I realized that I felt the light again...deep breath.  I can do this.  Today, I can do this.

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