I am enough. Brene Brown says that is the one thing to remember. If I can remember that, then I can allow myself to be vulnerable which leads to connection and joy. If I can't, then I live in shame and fear. Simple little words, hard truth.
I have struggled all my life to believe that I am enough. That I don't have to work even harder when someone is not pleased with me. I don't have to be nicer, or quieter, or kinder, or easier. If I am working harder than the other person is, then it's time to stop. If someone asks me to do something for them and then they but up roadblocks or put down everything I suggest, I'm working harder than they are and it's time to stop.
It makes my brain hurt to think about this and how to change it. But it makes my heart soar. I've been trying it out and it's scary, hard work but oh, the payoff! I have been jumping through hoops for a group that said they needed my help. Finally, I realized that I was working really really hard for them but they didn't like anything I did. Every time I checked off a box, they added another one. I've been in relationships like that too. Every time I checked off a box, another one appeared. There is no winning there. I will never be good enough there, but I can be and am enough.
I am enough. And when I am in relationship with myself and/or another who sees that...wow, life opens up into joy and ease and grace. And when two people treat each other as if they are enough, just as they are...that is love, that is grace, that is friendship. That is a gift beyond value. And it is more than enough. More than enough to change a life, to change the world.
Trust me, there are no qualifiers: YOU ARE ENOUGH.