Today was hard, too hard. I just don't feel like I will ever be happy again. Loading the dishwasher put me on the floor, sobbing for an hour. Gathering kindling from the shop...sobbing by the pond. Everywhere I look is something we dreamed together, something we planned, something we shared. I went to the store thinking to distract myself and all I could do was remember the last time we were there together. Trying to watch tv and a commercial comes on with: "our house is a very very very fine house, with two cats in the yard, life used to be so hard, now everything is easy 'cause of you...." I used to sing that to David all the time and now it's not true anymore. I am scared life will go back to being as hard as it used to be.
Okay....so I need to just cry and feel like this....but, being the one left behind sucks.
I have been carrying two quotes around in my calendar.
Anyone can slay a dragon but waking up every morning and loving the world all over again takes a real hero.
Sometimes the only available form of transportation is a leap of faith.
And a Rumi quote:
Very little grows on jagged rock,
Be ground, be crumbled
So wildflowers will come up where you are.
You've been stoney for too many years
Try something different