Okay....a blog.  about me.  hmmmm.  well, and David too.  and life on the farm.  and whatever happens next. 

If you happen upon this without having known the previous journey, it is at Caringbridge.org/visit/davidbair 

This is my attempt to continue the journey.  But now it is mine, not mine and David's so it seemed to require a new space. 

The farm memorial service is tomorrow.  We are expecting a large gathering and I am beyond exhausted.  holding on, blinders on, and a mantra....two more days two more dasy two more days.  I am holding off getting sick and I recognize in myself what I saw in David as we went into the family reunion.  I have built a container and I keep myself in it.  it is the only way to cope right now.  I am a little afraid of what sunday night or monday will bring.  But whatever it is I know I have no choice but to simply be present in it. 

I hope to have some photos of tomorrow to put on here.  The service has been designed carefully and has a great deal of meaning for me.  I believe it will be something David would have loved.  So many people have given so much, I know he would be surprised at the outpouring of love and caring.  He touched so many lives in so many ways. 

I am in danger of sounding trite.  time to go to bed.  Thank you Alison for setting this up.  let's see where we go from here.